octoswan:

there’s a comic book store in my town that gives ladies a 10% discount and the people who work there are really friendly so lots of ladies show up to hang out and buy comics and one time i was looking through some new releases and this guy walked in, saw all the ladies, did a double take, and said really loudly and condescendingly, ‘there sure are a lot of girls in here for a comic store!’ and laughed but no one else laughed with him and it was glorious

celestial-sexhair:

me as a celebrity

(Source: hummelilde)

daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

  • my mom: are you sure you want the 20 piece mcnugget isn't an eight piece enough
  • me: ...
  • my mom: didn't you just eat a fish sandwich
  • me: ...
  • my mom: ...
  • me: *takes deep breath* we teach girls to shrink themselves-- to make themselves smaller

(Source: folkdad)

obeseblackguy:

when the internet takes a lil over a millisecond to load

image

(Source: papadevs)

everyonedies:

dictatorboy:

My saint bernard lets the outside cats sleep with him

ARE YOU SERIOUS

(Source: protoni)

sherlock-hannibal:

Gordon Ramsay doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge x